Trust

Ok, I promise that this is a slightly better post than the one about my crap - honest (at least I won't talk about crap anymore in this post). The problem with blogs is that there is an internal monologue in my head that now has a place to voice itself. Yikes.

I have been thinking a lot about trust lately. It is one of those odd things that God made that I really have issues with at times. Ok. So I can trust God because he is perfect and, in fact, I should trust him even when I can't trust me. I'm good with that. Trusting God sounds like a fairly safe bet at this point.

The problem with trust is that because we were made to trust we go around trusting things that are not worthy - basically, we trust anything that we run into and anything that we run into is not innately trustworthy. In fact, anything that we run into that is not God is not trustworthy. So I trust my friend to love me, and say that because my friend is sinful I am deeply hurt. Then what? Time goes by, I forget my hurt, and I trust my friend again. Right? So . . . why? I mean really, why?

This is a frustration to me. Trust is a necessary element of every day life. People who trust nothing are people who society labels as insane, correct? Correct. Because if you do not trust your toothbrush to the extent that you think that your toothbrush is out to kill you, then you have irreconcilable issues with your toothbrush and need to be hog tied for your own good in a nice, white, padded cell. So even though I know that trusting leads to hurt, it also leads to functional everyday life.

This is one of those dumb/brilliant paradoxes that God created to give me headaches at 1:30 in the morning when I really ought to be in bed. I promise that I will try and post during more normal hours next time. But really . . . argh. Can't live with it, can't live without it.

(Although I suppose that you could argue that because God made us to heal and that we were originally intended for a perfect world, this seeming paradox made sense at one point and will make sense again at one eternity and any damage that is done by broken trust can, eventually, be repaired - at least in part. Ok, so you are smart. But in the mean time broken trust can still be made to work for good in some sense but pain is still not good and in fact can be well neigh unpardonable at times . . . except we are supposed to pardon. However, I refuse to pardon my can opener when it doesn't work. That I reserve the right to toss. It is only humans that I really have to work on trust with. God I trust. Can openers I toss. And humans I deal with. I really need to go to bed now!)