Name Calling

It was pointed out to me a while ago by either my mom or my sister (I don't remember which) that all the names that we tend to call men ("bastard" and "son of a bitch" being two examples) are all insults to their mothers and have nothing to say that reflects on the character of the man when one is trying to insult.

This seemed like a serious problem to me. I could think of all sorts of names to call females, but my vocabulary for insulting men came up short. I theorize that this is because of a shift in society - we view men less by their manly values and more as results of us females - but I would like to instill honor to the men of humankind by restoring unto them insulting terms that apply to their character and do not reflect on the female that brought them into the world. These words can also be used towards females. My point being that when we insult a person we ought to insult him, and not someone else. My list is as follows:

1. Dastard - a brilliant word, meaning "one who commits malicious acts" or "coward" that has been around since the 15th century. It is definitely underutilized in America today. Also, it rhymes with "bastard" and thus makes an easy replacement.
2. Deficient - a word that says it all! It doesn't matter what part of the man's character you are trying to insult, this word covers it!
3. Parasite - as too many of the men in our culture are, this word describes them accurrately without wasting too much breath on them, since they have had too much wasted on them already this reserves any left-over resources.
4. Fetid - meaning "having a heavy offensive smell" this can certainly work in a pinch when a good insult is needed.
5. Imbecile - always a good thing to call a man who has a weak brain!
6. Indecorous - has such synanyms like improper, unseemly, indecent, unbecoming. All of which point out the qualities the the insultable male is lacking that you wish he weren't lacking.
7. Latitudinarian - meaning "a person who is broad and liberal in his standards of religious belief and conduct" and it is also a fun mouthful to pronounce! Sound smart and insult well at the same time!
8. Recalcitrant - this would be an obstinante person who is stubbornly defiant
9. Obtuse - just another way to tell someone that he is stupid
10. Wastrel - basically a man who spends all his resources, foolishly, on himself

Other fun insults are as follows
toxogenic
miscreant
infidel
dungy
dyspeptic
gauche
ogival
truncated
petulant
daft
detestable
fissiparous
pestilent
twit

Et cetera. You can see that since my mind is no longer occupied by school that I put my considerable mental powers to such better uses! Enjoy, and may your insults always be scathing!