I'm going to stay

I am going to stay with these kids. Even if they do offer me that job that is in my subject area and pays over twice as much. I think that's what God wants me to do. I've been having a really tumultuous time lately. My uncle Charlie died this week, my mom gave me a letter my Grandpa wrote in 1968, my radiator broke (and got fixed) yesterday ... and as a result I spent yesterday on a retreat with God in a Chinese car mechanic's waiting room, I was reminded that seeds planted actually do bloom years and years later even though they lay seemingly dead for so long, and last night I finally (after 12 years) really started to mourn my Grandpa's death. The upshot of all of this? If you love someones you stay with them, even if it is hard. I hope that they offer me the job, so that I can turn it down and have it be a firstfruits offering to God. I actually am really really sad about my Grandpa not being here. I really miss him. I'm not the heartless monster that I thought I was when I was 12 and only cried once over him (more from the shock of the news than from being sad about his death). So maybe even if what I do now with these kids seems to have no impact on them at all ... I know that years and years later God might finally decide to water the sacrifice of love that was made for them and assure them of HIS love for them. And even if they never realize the love that was poured out for them by God through me? God knows, and he is still glorified by my actions.