where do I start?

Hmm, how about with my boy who I love love love(!)? Sorry, it's a new thing to me to be this in love with someone and it's rather overwhelming ... in a good way. Today was his, "worst day yet" but I suppose that going on 3 1/2 hours of sleep would do that to just about anyone. He did, however, finish off all 54 of his peer evals last night and honestly, that kind of determination and dedication (not to mention not shirking responsibility) is a cool thing to see growing in him (not to mention sexy). Tonight he came home very tired, with 4 R. I. R.'s. He's still working on those R. I. R.'s as I type. From what it sounds like, the worst part of his day was having to call out the jodies (marching beats and chants) for everyone ... because my dear boy has absolutely no idea how to keep a beat and as a result no one could figure out what beat they were supposed to be marching to. To quote him, "it was just stupid." Well, so he'll be a humble man for a while (not that he's been much of anything else lately). =)

My Grandma B. broke her hip yesterday, my Dad's mom. They can't operate on her to fix it either because for some reason (that the doctors have yet to figure out) she has an elevated platelet count in her blood ... so they have to stabilize her before they can operate on her hip. It's not looking so good for her, especially at 85. Breaking a hip is not a good thing. So ... I guess pray that her death is not long and drawn out - that she gets to see her loving Maker soon and that she will finally be able to remember who she is and become who she was meant to be.

My favorite things to do these days are (1) listening to music, oddly enough, especially classical music. It's really beautiful, and intricate, and relaxing as all get-out. I love it. Music with no words, there's something to that. (2) Reading ... especially Greek and Roman myths. It's an area that I was never very educated in so it's almost all fun and new for me. (Except for some reason I keep wondering when Xena is going to come trouncing into the scene ...)

My boys at scbool are really starting to calm down. There were no arrests or fights last week (for the middle schoolers, not the high schoolers, who had both). While Josh had his worst day at work ever, I had my best. All my boys stayed in the classroom all morning (a first - I didn't have to suspend anyone!) and they all did all their work this morning (a definite first). That's two days in a row that they have been amazingly wonderful. I'm so so so so so proud of them and so so so so so happy for them! Tomorrow will be an odd day though, because there is a zoo trip and only one of them earned the privilege of going ... so I'll be with four non-zoo-trip-goers. All day. What do I do? (Besides make them work?)

My I.E.P. (my first ever) went really well. Really really well. I almost convinced the mom to keep her kid in our school ... but she'd cussed out the principal just one too many times for that and decided that she didn't want her boy (an instigator of many fights, although a fairly bright and somewhat promising boy) to be around all the other "bad influences" because, you see, her boy really isn't that bad (even though he randomly punches people at times). I do love her son though, and I'm sad to see him go. I think that this school was actually a really good fit for him and I'm not convinced that her decision to move him is the best one. But, the principal, psychologists, and district specialist were really pleased and impressed with how well I did in the IEP meeting. It's odd; I like to talk about how well I do something, but I don't like to hear about it from other people. So, as I awkwardly stood there as they praised me I reached down inside and did what Monica taught me to do - said thank you. For me, that's growth. I did not deny their reality (which makes it look like I'm asking for more praise when I'm really trying to get them to stop praising me and making me uncomfortable) and tell them that I really did a horrible job (like I wanted to). I said thank you. That's a good grown-up thing to do, right? ::grin!:: But, personally, I do know that I did a decent job of it so I feel pretty good about the whole experience, even if I did feel embarrassed at the end when they were saying how well I did.

My poor Josh boy though, he's really tired and I've done all that I can do for him tonight. That's the hard part- only being able to help him so much. Allowing him to struggle through this on his own is part of what makes it so good for him, but it's really hard not to be able to write his reports for him because (1) he's trained how to do them and I'm not, (2) doing them for him would take away that learning experience from him, (3) it would make him think that I did not think that he could do it, (4) it would be immoral, and (5) he would probably get caught at it ... if he didn't guilt himself into turning himself in. All these reasons not to cheat and more ... so, I'm proud of him, wish I could do more for him, but am content to watch him make his own progress. And he is progressing.