kush-diri-kai-de-wa-sai

Or at least that is how my English ears hear the polite request to, "please repeat after me" in Japanese. For a long while I have been intrigued by Asians, and lately have come to be especially enthralled by the Japanese. Although I admit that I have not yet (but still hope to someday) attained a working knowledge of their language, I believe that in parts I have already attained an introspection of the spirit and love of community that I certainly did not have before I came to be intrigued by them. Although the majority of my interactions with Japanese culture have been through a mish-mosh mix of remnants of Japanese culture that have survived in the Japanese-American family of my husband, there are times that I feel I can truly understand some of the spirit of Japan that still resides the residue of actions, perspectives, and dreams that my new family holds.

I went this weekend to Las Vegas with Josh, Auntie, and Auntie's friend Mako. Auntie, or Grace as the rest of the adult world knows her, is Josh's Aunt on his Father's side. She is in her 50's (I think), is single, and as a female has the responsibility to care for her family and make the house run smoothly. Because she has no family of her own (she has no husband or children) she is responsible for helping out in her parent's house and looking after her brother's children. Although she would never think to say it in so many words, and it probably has never occurred to her to think of it, she gives generously to the family, sacrifices enormously for the family, and does all sorts of daily demanding tasks (like keeping grandpa out of trouble) that she really does not need to do. No one holds a knife to her throat. She is financially independent. All that ties her to this amazingly difficult routine of work for the family is her feelings of obligation to the family and love of the family. She will reap returns for all of her years of labor, as she cares for the family the family will care for her and I would not be surprised (in fact I would be delighted) if one day she ended up in my house and I would have the honor of caring for her as she has cared for me and the family. But what she gets in return is not her motive for giving so much.

I enjoyed my trip to Vegas tremendously, not because of Vegas, but because of the people that I went there with. Every once in a while I catch myself while I'm living my life and think, "wow. Look at where I am and who I am here with." If you had told me in high school that one day I would be driving around the streets of Las Vegas in a car with my Japanese American husband, his Japanese American aunt, and their Japanese Hawaiian American friend, and that I would be enjoying myself and not feeling awkward or out-of-place in the least, then I would have called you crazy. But there I was. And there I was at the dinner table with them, knowing that I would never be expected to pay for any of the food while I was there, with a purse filled with money from Josh's grandmother who wanted us to enjoy ourselves, being urged by Josh's aunt to please order the $35 plate of crab claws, and knowing that she was in earnest and that she really actually wanted me to buy the expensive plate because she knew that I would enjoy it! It is not the expensive food that I ate, or the money that I was given, or the free night's stay in a privately owned condo, or the incredible Celine Dion concert that I went to, or the being driven hundreds of miles somewhere and not having to pay for gas, or Auntie's urging me to go enjoy myself in a bookstore while she stood in line for the lunch buffet at the Bellagio that meant so much to me - it was the spirit of the gift that touched my heart. Where I once felt guilty for being the receiver of such grand gifts, knowing in my heart that I never deserve to have such riches given to me, I now realize that the gift is not a reflection on the receiver, but a portrait of the giver. The Bible talks about giving with a cheerful heart and I have come to realize how amazing things given with a cheerful heart are.

When I am offered something by Josh or his family I don't need to sit there and wonder, when I accept the gift, if they are going to begrudge me how much it cost or think that I am greedy for accepting. Instead I sit there and wonder at the people giving. Giving good gifts is fully in the spirit of Japan, and not something that overly occupies the minds of the average individualistic American, but giving good gifts out of a loving and generous heart shows not just the spirit of Japan, but the Spirit of God working in the hearts of his children. There are so many good things in Japanese and Japanese-American culture, but one of the things that I love most is how well parts of it are enhanced by God. God did put good things into us - and even cultures that do not honor Him still have gifts from Him - but how much more valuable and cherished these cultures are when they are grounded in the love of God! And how much more they shine and are worthwhile when the light that fills them and falls on them comes from God.